obsessionality (obsessionality) wrote,
obsessionality
obsessionality

thoughts this week

- i actually fucking hate frozen breaded mushrooms because they are disgusting and i only buy them for the crispy bits. if i could get a bag full of frozen crispy bits i would die a happy woman.
- i really hope my job back home is still on. oh god oh god oh god please.
- i'm so fucking out of it i don't want to do any work. dissertation meeting went well. there are improvements to be made and he called my project ambitious and innovative twice in the course of an hour.
- i just want to write something happy and fluffy and fucking nauseatingly sweet okay. is that too hard? why am in the perpetual angst machine. even fics that have fucking happy endings aren't happy because i'm a fucking crazy person who can't let people be happy
- that creep from jc wants to visit me in durham and i said no no no. but i don't think he got the message sweet mother of god save me.
- have i put on weight? i think i've put on weight.
- i'm so fucking lonely oh my god.
- i want to get high once, before i go back to the land of soulless automatons and dead dreams. i unfortunately do not have the contacts. am wondering if one can actually get high on cough syrup.

a special note to everyone who responded to that horrific post about my dad and my sister; i want you to know that NONE of you have offended me in any way, and that i appreciated your words and your thoughts more than i can possibly describe. i fully intended to respond to all of you, and i will, but every time i read the responses i kinda teared up, and i'm sorry if i made you think i didn't appreciate the effort you put into reading/responding. because i did. i really did. you guys are my first and last bastion of support when it comes to things like this, and i don't know what i'd do without you.
Tags: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaangst, crack, emotional instability, exaustion, family! thou art my bane, i don't even know anymore, life lessons, love?, luck wishing necessary, my life is a soap opera, rl, what is my life
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